So This Didn’t Work, Did It? September 9, 2010

Ok, I thought starting up a new blog would inspire me to write more, to be more free and not feel like the weight of expectations would be on me.

That hasn’t happened. This just doesn’t feel like “home” to me, so I’m heading back over to The Simple Life at Home. I still probably won’t post near as often as I used to, but I feel like I kind of abandoned all the history of my bloggy life; who I was and how I got to where I am now.

I’m going to post a quick update over there today if you are interested in checking it out.

Refreshed August 7, 2010

I can honestly say I haven’t felt this refreshed and positive in a long time.

The kids and I returned a week ago from our 6 week visit to the US.  While jetlag was a killer for the first 3-4 days, at this point, I’m full of energy and excitement.  Here’s why:

Living in Qatar

This was the first time that we’ve returned to Qatar that I’ve really looked forward to coming home.  (Calling it “home” right there is a big step!) I missed my husband, my house, my co-workers, my job.  While we had a great time in Tucson and Miami, I was ready to come home.  And even more importantly, my kids were ok with coming back too.  That’s a minor miracle right there!  Yes, there were a few shed tears at the airport, but they were short-lived.  I think everyone is ready to get back to our so-called normal life here and move forward.

Time with Friends and Family

I laughed so hard I cried.  It was so refreshing to be with such good friends, people whom I have a history with and love dearly.  While I’m still working on making those connections here, it felt amazing to be back with people who can just look at me and make me laugh.

Our Home

We’ve been living in Qatar for 2.5 years now.  But just now are we painting the walls of our home and making it “ours.”  In our first house, we knew we didn’t want to stay there so we didn’t bother.  We’ve been in this house since October, but it’s taken us this long to get around to it.  Hubby painted the dining room a beautiful red while I was away (yes, I picked it and even took the paint chip to the US with me to find matching fabric to recover the chairs in).  I love it!!  Yesterday we painted one of Daniel’s bedroom walls the same red (red’s his favorite color and it will go nicely with his blue and white bedding).  We also painted half of Emily’s room and are going to finish it up today.  She picked an apple green for two walls and a medium blue for the other two.  She based her color choices on her bedding and some wall art she found in the US.  She’s especially happy to be having her room re-done and I can’t wait for the finished product.  Hopefully once it’s all done and the house is actually clean enough to take pictures of (HA!  like that will ever happen!!!), I’ll post some pictures here.

My Job

I started work again last Sunday, complete with a promotion that I received over the summer.  My new boss and I have a great working relationship and I think that I will develop that too with the new associate principal.  They seem to be a great team and the whole mood in the office is upbeat and very encouraging.

Health

Thanks to my mom’s help, I’ve started taking control of my weight.  Since the end of June I have lost 18 pounds.  Whoo-hoo!!  I still have a long way to go, but at least I’m on the right path.

It just seems like everything is going right these days.  I’m grateful to God for His blessings and His providence in my life.  Yippee!!

Here We Go Again May 21, 2010

One of the worst things about living the “expat” life is the transitory nature of it all.  For instance, you don’t want to invest too much in furnishing your home because you probably will get rid of it all in a few years.  So, do you make do with cheap, tacky stuff or spend more, even knowing that it’s all temporary?  

But the bigger problem is that relationships are often temporary too.  Last year, we said goodbye to many of the people who we had become friends with during our first few months here.  Now that summer is rapidly approaching and the school year is drawing to a close, we are hearing about more and more people who will be packing up and leaving Doha for good.  

Tonight Emily went to a birthday party for two friends of hers, brother and sister.  It was a surprise party and the kids were all having a great time.  Until the mom gathered everyone and announced that they were moving to Dubai over the summer.  The party was instantly over of course.  This family hosts a weekly Bible study and lunch for the teens after school on Tuesdays.  The kids have been part of the same mission teams Em’s gone on for the last two years.  The son was one of the first people to befriend her when she started school.  

What to do?  You can’t very well think of people and relationships like furniture, deciding not to invest.  You don’t really have a choice but to build relationships with the knowledge that they won’t be long-term.  Of course, now that there’s Facebook and email and all other manners of communication, you may not lose the relationship entirely, but it’s not the same as having that face-to-face contact.

I don’t know that I’ll ever get used to this endless cycles of hellos and goodbyes.  In the two years we’ve been here, there have probably been at least 15 people I’ve gotten to start building friendships with only to have them leave.  It’s been hard and I don’t feel like I’ve still found a “soul sister” here.  I don’t know if I ever will.  But I guess the only thing to do is keep plugging away, keep trying to make connections and keep trusting God.  Saying goodbyes is hard, but I’m trying to learn to just be grateful for the opportunities to get to know the people that God has placed in our paths, for whatever length of time.

We Need Some Fun Around Here May 15, 2010

I miss my old life.  The one where I homeschooled my kids, things got done during the day and our nights and weekends were free to do as we liked.  In our current life, I leave home each morning at 7:20 (Hubby’s long gone by 6:15) and return home around 3:45 each afternoon.  By the time I figure out what’s for dinner, prepare dinner, keep on top of the kids with regards to homework, straighten up the house from the morning’s chaos, serve dinner, clean up after dinner, and go back to homework help, I’m exhausted.  All I want to do is collapse in front of the tv and vegetate.  Not the most fun life, huh?

Hubby and I were talking yesterday about how we’ve been so sick lately.  I think part of it is stress and mentioned that we never really do anything fun as a family.  We never go to the movies, bowling, to play pool, nothing.  Once in a great while, we’ll go out to dinner, but that’s not really “fun.”    

I think that lightening up our home life will make a big difference.  So I’m soliciting ideas.  Now, remember I am in Doha, so any suggestions will need to be rather general.  But if you can suggest any kind of things for us to do that will spice up our rather boring, mundane life, it will be much appreciated!!

What a Day May 12, 2010

Let’s take a look at how my day went:

1) Heard my daughter’s permission to join the journalism class next year was rescinded, which upset me greatly since it was already rescinded once and then reinstated.

2) Lunch was gross

3) Went to the ortho – I hate having braces

4) Picked a email fight with my boss (a.k.a., my daughter’s principal), which was probably PMS inspired and now he hates me

5) Our bunny died

6) Realized at 8:30 that we are on our second day without milk. Went to the store and got cut off on the way home, sending all the groceries crashing to the floor in the backseat.

I’m ready for bed.

Carpe Diem May 1, 2010

This week marked the end of my boss’s tenure at our school.  As high school principal, he clearly made a difference in the lives of many, many students in a way that I didn’t know a principal could.  My own high school principal lived in his office, never emerging it seems.  My boss, Mike, was hardly ever in his office, often prompting me to tell him I was going to staple a GPS to his ear like they do with sea lions.  But Mike lived and breathed the students of our school.  He was energized by being with them.  

So what prompted him to leave?  Sadly, a tragic diagnosis of Lou Gerihg’s Disease.  He kept the news a secret for several months, but it progressed to the point where his body was betraying him more and more and it was no longer possible to keep that secret.  We’ve known for months now that his time with us was limited, and that day arrived this week.

As he prepared to leave that last day, a steady stream of students, parents, staff and faculty came to say their goodbyes.  Students were even running to find him as he and his wife walked to the parking lot that last time.  

As I watched him go all I could think about was how there are no guarantees in life.  Here is a man, just 50 years old with two young children.  A man who only eats healthily, biked to work, worked out.  A man who is a kind as the day is long.  And his future looks a bleak as it gets.

It makes me want to look at my life and see if I am having that kind of an impact. I may not have it on as many people, but am I impacting my husband, my children, my family, friends and acquaintances that way?  Am I serving as a beacon of encouragement and compassion in the same way that Mike spent his years here doing?  

Far too often, I’m wrapped up on my own little world to even notice others.  Or I’m too easily annoyed by others and find myself rushing to judgement.  Mike taught me alot about compassion.  I watched him deal with students in such a kind and loving way and always let them know, no matter what they had done, that he believed in them and knew they could do better, even if they didn’t know it yet.

So I want to “seize the day” – not just for living an out-there, adventurous life, but for showing compassion, kindness and encouragement.  I want to learn to take advantage of each encounter and show people the love of Christ in that moment.  Because we never know when it might be the last time we have that chance.

Simple or Easy? April 27, 2010

Recently I read Julie/Julia.  (Unfortunately, though I loved the writing, I can’t recommend it because the language was atrocious.  It’s sad that something so witty and clever has to be spoiled for no reason.)  One thing that the author said has stuck with me since the moment I read it.  

In talking about the making of a certain dish (which one escapes me), she remarks on how it’s really a simple dish – just a few ingredients and not many steps.  The dish, however, is not easy.  The steps, few though they might be, are complicated and require great care in doing them properly.  Do it incorrectly and the dish could be spoiled.

It got me thinking about how I usually confuse “easy” with “simple.”  For years I have longed for a simple life.  I dream of the days when we will have a peaceful home where everyone feels relaxed and stress-free.  The reality is, however, that our time is often harried, rushing from one place to another, ordering dinner in, agonizing over homework and falling into bed (or into a tv-induced coma on the couch) at the end of the night, exhausted.  SOO not what I want for my family.

Easy: Not hard or difficult; requiring no great labor or effort

Simple:  easy to understand, deal with, use, etc.: a simple matter; simple tools; not elaborate or artificial; plain; not ornate or luxurious; unadorned; unaffected; unassuming; modest; not complicated.

I want simple.  Yes, it’s nice to have things easy.  But do you know what?  Easy isn’t necessarily what’s best.  Building a family, a life, a home takes work.  It doesn’t happen just by sitting back and letting the chips fall where they may.  It’s hard work to train and disciple the children God has entrusted you with.  It requires effort and planning and care to run a home where the people in it are nourished, physically, mentally and spiritually.  

 

Sure, I could take the easy way out.  (Sadly, I think I’ve fallen into that trap lately.) But while I want life to be simple, I don’t just want to mindlessly walk through my days doing whatever it takes to get through the day.  I want our lives to be more mindful, more deliberate than that.  But, like Julia’s recipe for whatever-it-was, those steps take some effort.

What about you?  How do you define easy vs. simple in your home?  What steps do you take to make your life simpler?

I Should Never Have Quit Homeschooling April 26, 2010

After homeschooling my children all the way through 6th and 8th grades, it was a big decision to surrender them to “school.”  There was plenty of agonizing about it, let me tell you.  What would happen to them spiritually?  What would happen to them emotionally?  Would they suddenly grow up too soon?

Truth be told, some of all of that has been an issue.  And even though it’s been hard to see them in a situation I would have rather they didn’t be in, it’s been a good experience for them overall.  They’ve been stretched in ways they never would have at home, both academically and spiritually.

But, right now I’m thinking there’s one really huge reason not to quit homeschooling.

GERMS!!

We have never been so sick since we put the kids in school.  Last year, you may remember that I contracted whooping cough along about the same time Emily had pneumonia.  That was awful!  Three-plus months of such severe coughing that I would literally be gasping for breath, gagging and turning red.  

This past week hasn’t been much better.  :(  It started off late last week with Daniel having a sore throat and low-grade fever.  A couple of days later it hit me.  Then Hubby got it.  Then Emily.  There’s nothing worse than when there’s no one left standing to keep things running.  Dishes weren’t being done, laundry sat unwashed, the dog went without dog food for three days (though I was feeding her deli turkey – shhhh!!!  that’s the most expensive stuff the dog’s ever eaten – a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do!!), and all anyone wanted to do way lay around and moan.

Finally on Friday morning, Hubby had had enough and marched us all off to the ER.  (That’s not really a reflection of how sick we were – it’s just the way they do things here.  Most people don’t seem to have a regular doctor, but just walk in to the hospital or clinic when necessary.) All four of us ended up diagnosed with bronchitis and on antibiotics.  Me, because I’m special, also got some lovely little eyedrops to put in my lovely-shade-of pink eyes.  Yes, folks, that right.  I also woke up that morning with BOTH eyes infected with pink eye.

It was a day of joy and happiness, as you can imagine.

*Sigh*

But the funny thing (well, depending on how you look at it) was the doctor.  He seemed to be a very nice man, but as he examined Emily and I he was trying with all his might to avoid touching us. You would think that someone who was a doctor would have to be able to overcome religious objections to touching, say, half the world’s population.  Each of us left with two prescriptions.  Then he went to see Hubby, who had the same exact symptoms we did (minus the pinkeye).  Hubby walks out with four prescriptions, an EEG and a chest xray!!  I don’t know if I should be insulted or grateful that he showed such over-concern for the male patient.  Ah, it’s a never-ending mystery how things get decided here.

Thankfully, we are all feeling better today and have gone back our normal lives.  I’m sure there will be more opportunities to share some Doha-wackiness with you soon. 

The Land of Almost April 25, 2010

So you might have noticed (in the 8 hours that this site has been up and running!) that I refer to Qatar as “the land of almost.”  This little endearment a friend shared with me has become a favorite way of mine of thinking about this wacky place that I live.  

Qatar almost gets it.  The second richest country in the world is still shockingly behind the times.  One reminder of that was the headline in the local paper today noting that streets will soon…wait for it…Be given street names and numbers!!

Imagine a major city with few to none street names.  

There’s no postal delivery to homes because no one has an address.  Some people have P.O. boxes, but, in yet another example of almost-ness, there is a terrible shortage of them.  Most people end up using their employer’s P.O. box.  

Trying to give directions to deliverymen is a nightmare, using landmarks and counting intersections and roundabouts.  Once we spent over an hour trying to get the McDonald’s man to find our house.  (Yes, McDonald’s delivers here, as does every other fast food joint.)  In our new home, we’ve given up on it and just ask them to meet us at the nearby gas station to either pick up food or to follow us home for larger items.

Now, Qatar is nothing if not bureaucratic, so all street name suggestions will be submitted by government officials to a street naming committee, so it could be years before we actually see any progress on this front.

Another way that Qatar almost gets things right is in traffic enforcement.  There’s been a big push in the last two years to reduce traffic violations, which is a good thing, since Qatar ranks highest in the world for traffic fatalities per capita.  But it’s the way it’s done that drives me nuts.  It’s all done by traffic cameras.  They monitor speed, red-light-runners, and well, that’s about it.  Regular human police officers don’t seem to get involved in dangerous driving.  I’ve never once seen a police officer pull someone over, regardless of how outrageous their driving behavior is.  Maybe if people knew that they could be pulled over and ticketed at any time (rather than just knowing where the cameras are and behaving for the 5 seconds it takes to pass them), things would improve drastically.  

Another interesting thing along the same lines is that the ticket goes with the car, not the driver since the radar camera obviously has no idea who is driving.  This means that people here have actually figured out that you can pay some poor guy to go to the police and claim to have been driving, taking the points for the true offender for a measly amount of money.  This leaves the worst drivers with the best records.  

Then there is the ever-present problem of importing things.  You would think that a country that produces nothing but gas and oil would have streamlined the procedures for getting goods into the country.  And yet, there are two stores that are “about” to open “any day now” that every expat woman in Doha are dreaming of.  Spinney’s and Dean & Deluca have been supposedly ready since prior to Christmas.  However, there are no goods to stock the shelves with.  Employees have been hired and trained months ago and keep themselves busy dusting the empty shelves.  It seems to be impossible to place orders, get them through customs and onto the shelves in reasonable time.

When we moved here, Doha was in the midst of a bid for the 2016 Summer Olympics.  Of course, they didn’t win (have I mentioned that temps in the summer here range upwards of 120 degrees??), with the honor going instead to Rio.  But they have vowed to try again.  So don’t you think that it would have been a good show on their part to actually carry the recent Winter Olympics on a single station?  I didn’t get to watch a single minute of the Olympics this year, for the first time ever.

And most recently, it was announced that most people would no longer be able to get visas upon arriving in Qatar, but would have to get them in advance of leaving home.  However, it seems that no embassies were given instructions to the effect, no guidelines as to what was necessary to gain a visa were given and it was a huge mass of confusion as to why it was happening.  (Personally, I’d wager it was due to the recent Mossad assassination in Dubai – an attempt to be more careful about who it allows into the country – a good thing.)  But it was so poorly executed and not thought out that just two weeks before the new regulations were to go into effect, it’s been announced that the plan has been put on hold “indefinitely.”

And so it goes.  Qatar is trying to move into the future and there are lots of things it’s doing right.  It’s focusing on becoming a mecca of education and culture in the Middle East and it’s doing that pretty well.  It’s seen unprecedented growth and I don’t imagine it’s easy to keep up with that.  But it just seems as though it’s always “almost” getting it right.

Starting Fresh April 25, 2010

Welcome to my new home, Middle East Mama.  

I decided to start fresh, moving on from The Simple Life at Home, and opting to use this new site to write a more personal blog.  Somehow, somewhere along the way at Simple Life, I seem to have lost sight of why I was blogging.  I started being more worried about the number of hits I was getting, the number of comments and other “stat counts.”  

That’s not why I started blogging.  I just wanted a creative outlet, someplace to share what I had learned and was learning about being a mom, a Christian, a homemaker and a wife.  It was never supposed to be about what everyone else thought.

Along the way I’ve had many changes in my life, moving from the US to the Middle East, putting the kids in school instead of homeschooling, rejoining the workforce, and more.   This was reflected in my writing, becoming more focused on just our daily lives rather than being able to share and encourage other women.  I began to feel guilty for not honoring the original intent of the blog, but I couldn’t get back to that place I was when I started Simple Life.  

My life now is more “survival mode.”  I still want to be a great mom, wife, Christian and homemaker, but it’s much more challenging to balance all that with being a working mom, let alone come up with creative things to share with others.

And so I begin again, here.  This blog will be more personal, focused more on our family and daily life.  I hope to occasionally share fabulous recipes, bits of wisdom, great finds an anything else that I think you could benefit from.  But I won’t allow myself to feel guilty about it anymore if I can’t do it regularly.

So, whether you are following me over from The Simple Life, or finding me for the first time, welcome.  I hope you enjoy the stories of what it’s like to be an American, Christian family living in a strict Islamic country, raising teenagers and trying to keep my sanity all at the same time.